Mothers Day

Mothers Day invokes so many memories for me. I remember making things at school for my mother, thinking they were the grandest things a mom could get!

To being a mother and receiving similar gifts from my girls, and knowing they WERE the grandest gifts a mother could get! To know their sweet hands made those gifts, the sweet smiles, the excitement on their faces to give them to me. Those are my best memories of this holiday.

The next best was watching my girls become mothers, being able to share this wondrous day with them. To see how sweetly my grandchildren honored their mothers. Mothers Day was always a favorite of mine.

Not for the presents from my children. But, for the present the Good Lord above gave to me!! Three beautiful pink packages that He entrusted to ME to take care of. Such an amazing gift, and such trust He showed for me to try to do Him justice in raising these beautiful girls! I thank Him everyday for that trust, for the joyful journey of being a mother.

Though I still love this holiday, it now is bittersweet to me. My mother is gone, no more chances to show her I did, and do, love her. But even that pain is overshadowed by another. No mother ever wants to watch one of her children suffer pain, especially a pain she can't fix. A pain she can share in part, but doesn't know how to ease it for her child. That's where I stand with Heather, my precious firstborn.

She is such an amazing woman, this young lady the Lord trusted me with, I love her SO much!! I do not take credit for the woman she has become, I give full credit to the Lord above. He created such a beautiful lady that I got the honor to call my daughter!

Two handsome blue bundles she was blessed with! She gave me the honor of my first grandchild, my first grandson, Austin. OH!!! The memories of watching him grow!!! So sweetly I cherish them!!! I can close my eyes and see him with a handful of Easter flowers he picked for his mommy, the love and the joy in his eyes. I pray I see those beautiful eyes filled with love and joy when the Good Lord decides its our turn to join Austin in Paradise!!!

How she tries to hide the pain. She is such a strong lady!! I admire my daughter, she inspires me to be a better person. But, a mother knows....somehow we just do. Maybe because our child came from our body, the connection never really severs. I try to honor her by pretending I don't see, she knows I do see it. She has to know that, she too is a mother.

A mothers love runs deep, knows no boundaries, never stops. I have the pleasure and joy of my love for my children being extended to my grandchildren they have blessed me with. For what is a Grandmother, but a mother twice blessed!!

As a grandmother I stand in the background. I get to baste in my daughters shadows. It's a great place to be!! It can be like watching them grow up all over again. I get to see the love and pride on their faces for their children, knowing that I too felt that love and pride in them as children. I get to go through it again through watching my grandchildren grow up. It is a two-fold blessing!! To know in advance what my girls are going to feel before they do!! Because I stood there before them.

I have watched Wendy go through such hard times that a lot of women would have given up over. But not my daughter!! Their strength has to come from the Lord, it is too amazing to be from any mortal being.

Wendy has blessed me with two beautiful granddaughters and one handsome grandson. I thank God for her and her children everyday too.

Then there is Raven. Again, my child has gone through so much to be so young. Yet, like her sisters, she has that inner strength from the Lord!! She stands up and takes what shes dealt, pastes a smile on her face, and carries on.

Raven has blessed me with a pink and a blue bundle of joy. Seven precious grandchildren!! Each and every one different from the others. Each unique!!

Oh, the joys and the pain of being a mother!! I wouldn't trade one of them for all the wealth on Earth.
I couldn't, to change just one thing could change EVERY thing!! Though I would love to erase the pain my girls have gone through, I can't, and I wouldn't if I could.

To take away Heathers pain would be to never have had Austin....THAT she would be the first to say she'd never have done!!!! Every instance of pain also brings one of joy. We have our memories. They will sustain us until we are with him again!!
She still has the blessing of Noah and a loving husband, Tim. She would be the first to say she has been blessed by the Lord in so many ways. She is, as I said, an amazing lady!!

Wendy, like her sister, wouldn't change anything either. I know there are things she wishes were different. But we have to walk the path that was laid for us. For every choice we make somewhere there is a price to pay.

Raven also has had her share of heartache. Sometimes I fear I cursed the children I was blessed with!! I want so badly to take their pain and make it mine, mine to carry, my burdens, not theirs.

That is how every mother feels. I just pray that beside each of my girls names it is marked paid in full, no more heartache or pain. Yet, I know that is just wishful thinking. This life is for learning that this isn't life!! This is a test to show us just how badly we need God and the Home He has waiting for us!!

So, to each of my daughters I say Happy Mothers Day!! I love each of you so very much. I am so proud to be able to say these are my daughters, these are my grandchildren!! I could not be greater blessed than I have been to know and love each of these God given people in my life.

Thank you girls for the joy you have brought to my life, for the grandchildren you have blessed me with. I cherish each and everyone of you and of my memories. I love you!!