Today marks two years since you had to go away.
Two years and I still don't quiet know what to say.
The easy words are I love you and miss you.
The hard words are the ones that tore my world into.
To try to say good-bye to you,
Was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But, at the same time I never did say it.
I'll see and hold you again in a bit.
It may be tomorrow or twenty more years.
I know it will be after thousands of tears.
You made us all so very proud,
We are thankful for the time we were allowed.
I can close my eyes and see your smiling face,
I thank God for giving me my special place.
To be a part of your beautiful life and growth,
Thank you Lord for my small part in both!
Physically you may be gone,
But your work will carry on.
Though we are so far apart,
We will carry you always in our hearts.
Remember Our Young Angel Man,
That before your life even began,
You were and are always will be,
A huge part of the best of me.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanksgiving Day 2010
Thanksgiving remains the same in the sense of my family coming together. Sometimes some can't stay as long as we'd like, but at least at some point we are ALL together!
We have made some changes the last 2 years. Always before it would be at Carls and my house. Last year we moved it to Heathers and Tims, my oldest daughter. Tims mom wasn't able to prepare dinner like she always had before, so Heather cooked for his family, and invited hers too.
This year was different yet again. Last year was our first without Austin, this year we had to go on without June, Tims mom. But I know they were together in Heaven smiling down on us, rejoicing that we carry on even though it still hurts.
This was the first year Carls mom didn't fix a meal. She went to his brothers house. I feel like she just couldn't do it without Don there, we lost him this year too.
Yet we have to TRY to stay postive, to meet each day head-on. To be all we can be, for ourselves and for each other.
Yes, we can look back and remember past Holidays. Days all our loved ones were still here with us. But we have to look forward too. We have other family members and they are just as important to us.
So, until we can all be together again, we will take each day as it comes. We will find something to smile about, even if we also find something to cry about. Thats what life is, ups and downs. We just have to learn to balance them, though its great if the ups throw us off balance some!!
We have made some changes the last 2 years. Always before it would be at Carls and my house. Last year we moved it to Heathers and Tims, my oldest daughter. Tims mom wasn't able to prepare dinner like she always had before, so Heather cooked for his family, and invited hers too.
This year was different yet again. Last year was our first without Austin, this year we had to go on without June, Tims mom. But I know they were together in Heaven smiling down on us, rejoicing that we carry on even though it still hurts.
This was the first year Carls mom didn't fix a meal. She went to his brothers house. I feel like she just couldn't do it without Don there, we lost him this year too.
Yet we have to TRY to stay postive, to meet each day head-on. To be all we can be, for ourselves and for each other.
Yes, we can look back and remember past Holidays. Days all our loved ones were still here with us. But we have to look forward too. We have other family members and they are just as important to us.
So, until we can all be together again, we will take each day as it comes. We will find something to smile about, even if we also find something to cry about. Thats what life is, ups and downs. We just have to learn to balance them, though its great if the ups throw us off balance some!!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving has always been a family time, for as long as I can remember. I remember my Mothers' meals, sitting with Daddy and chopping whatever had to be chopped. We never went to a grandparents for Thanksgiving, but Grandma Davis came to ours after Grandpa passed away.
Family is an ever changing thing. Marriages, divorces, members moving away, others passing away. Family gets bigger or smaller depending on one or another.
Thanksgiving is a time each person needs to stop! We all have something that tears us apart on any Holiday. For my family, we have a shared grief. We losed our beloved Austin, 2 years ago on Nov. 29, 2008. At the age of 14, so unexspectedly!!
But, as I said, we each need to stop---remember what Austin would have wanted, what God wants. This is the time we as a people have set aside to give Thanks to God!!
Granted, we should be thanking Him each and everyday in our prayers. Just the same, as a Nation we set this as a legal Holiday to give Thanks.
Each of us can easily make a list of what is wrong in our lives. Death of a loved one, health of self or other family member, finances, etc.
This is a day we are supposed to remember what we are THANKFUL for!!! I have so many blessings to be Thankful for! A husband that loves and needs me. 3 beautiful daughters, who have blessed me with 7 wonderful grandchildren!! I can not say enough of how much I love each of these people, or how proud I am of them. I cannot forget my son-in-law Tim, Heathers husband!!! He was a dear friend before becoming her husband. He is the son I never had.
I have a job that I enjoy and love doing. I am a bus monitor on a special needs bus. Each and everyday is so different, though I am on the same bus with the same children. They range in age from pre-school to 17 years old. Each a joy to be with!!
Yes, we sometimes have a trying time, but somewhere one or the other will end up making ALL of us smile or laugh out loud.
I have married twice in my life. I will stay with Carl to the end of our days. But, I was blessed with GREAT in-laws, BOTH times. I still call my first husbands parents Mom and Dad, though we lost Dad several years ago. His sister is still my sister too. Carls parents I call Mom and Dad also. Not everyone can say they have had 3 sets of Moms and Dads in their lives!!
The main thing I give Thanks for is my faith in God. My total belief in Him! Without that I couldn't make it. Knowing HE is ALWAYS with us, that makes life bearable. Without Him, I for one wouldn't have much of a life, or any sanity left. Through all the hardships I have endured, and the ones I have yet to endure, HE is with me!! I know this in my heart, mind, and soul. No doubt whatsoever. The older I get the more I know this.
So, Father, I would like to give Thanks to YOU! Thank-you for my wonderful family, present, past, and future. For my health, I am so blessed to be able to see, touch, and hold my Grandchildren. So many can't say that.
Thank-you for giving me a job I can do. The food I eat, the clothes I wear. The roof over my head. None of that may be fancy, but I HAVE it. So many others don't.
Thank-you for giving Your Son so that I, unworthy though I have been, could be so GREATLY blessed in this life. Without Jesus none of this would have been possible.
Thank-you for making a new home, Austin is there, my parents, Dad Coons, Don Richmond, so many others of my family. Thank-you for taking them Home to be with You. I know they are safe and happy with You. Thank-you for the time I had with each of them.
Thank you for the hardships I have had in my life, I pray they will make me the person You wanted me to become. I thank you Lord for every single person, feeling, tear, laugh, all of what makes my life mine.
Family is an ever changing thing. Marriages, divorces, members moving away, others passing away. Family gets bigger or smaller depending on one or another.
Thanksgiving is a time each person needs to stop! We all have something that tears us apart on any Holiday. For my family, we have a shared grief. We losed our beloved Austin, 2 years ago on Nov. 29, 2008. At the age of 14, so unexspectedly!!
But, as I said, we each need to stop---remember what Austin would have wanted, what God wants. This is the time we as a people have set aside to give Thanks to God!!
Granted, we should be thanking Him each and everyday in our prayers. Just the same, as a Nation we set this as a legal Holiday to give Thanks.
Each of us can easily make a list of what is wrong in our lives. Death of a loved one, health of self or other family member, finances, etc.
This is a day we are supposed to remember what we are THANKFUL for!!! I have so many blessings to be Thankful for! A husband that loves and needs me. 3 beautiful daughters, who have blessed me with 7 wonderful grandchildren!! I can not say enough of how much I love each of these people, or how proud I am of them. I cannot forget my son-in-law Tim, Heathers husband!!! He was a dear friend before becoming her husband. He is the son I never had.
I have a job that I enjoy and love doing. I am a bus monitor on a special needs bus. Each and everyday is so different, though I am on the same bus with the same children. They range in age from pre-school to 17 years old. Each a joy to be with!!
Yes, we sometimes have a trying time, but somewhere one or the other will end up making ALL of us smile or laugh out loud.
I have married twice in my life. I will stay with Carl to the end of our days. But, I was blessed with GREAT in-laws, BOTH times. I still call my first husbands parents Mom and Dad, though we lost Dad several years ago. His sister is still my sister too. Carls parents I call Mom and Dad also. Not everyone can say they have had 3 sets of Moms and Dads in their lives!!
The main thing I give Thanks for is my faith in God. My total belief in Him! Without that I couldn't make it. Knowing HE is ALWAYS with us, that makes life bearable. Without Him, I for one wouldn't have much of a life, or any sanity left. Through all the hardships I have endured, and the ones I have yet to endure, HE is with me!! I know this in my heart, mind, and soul. No doubt whatsoever. The older I get the more I know this.
So, Father, I would like to give Thanks to YOU! Thank-you for my wonderful family, present, past, and future. For my health, I am so blessed to be able to see, touch, and hold my Grandchildren. So many can't say that.
Thank-you for giving me a job I can do. The food I eat, the clothes I wear. The roof over my head. None of that may be fancy, but I HAVE it. So many others don't.
Thank-you for giving Your Son so that I, unworthy though I have been, could be so GREATLY blessed in this life. Without Jesus none of this would have been possible.
Thank-you for making a new home, Austin is there, my parents, Dad Coons, Don Richmond, so many others of my family. Thank-you for taking them Home to be with You. I know they are safe and happy with You. Thank-you for the time I had with each of them.
Thank you for the hardships I have had in my life, I pray they will make me the person You wanted me to become. I thank you Lord for every single person, feeling, tear, laugh, all of what makes my life mine.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
My children
I have 3 daughters that I am proud of. Yes, there have been some things they have done that I, and them, have NOt been proud of. But, by and large, I AM proud of my children. They are as different as morning, noon, and night.
Heather would be my morning, born at 12:30 p.m., or close to that!! She was as more my teacher than I was hers! Heather makes you THINK she is totally in control, maybe she is. But, I know, she has a soft spot.
When Heather and Tim married they decided that THEIR family came first and foremost, which is EXACTLLY what the Bible says!!!! They put their family first, theirselves, their sons next.
I remember when their firstborn son, Austin, was born. There was a slight chance of losing one or the other, mother or child. Tim picked Heather to save. He asked me what should he do?? I said "Do you want to know what you are I would say, or what Heather would say"?
He said is there a difference? I said "oh yes"!! You will pick your wife. I, like Heather, would pick my child. Therefore you and I would pick Heather, but, like I would have if it was her or me, SHE will pick her child!!
Luckily it didn't come to that. But that leads to another story of our lives.
Wendy would be my noon child. Literally in the middle.Though she was born at 11:27 p.m. She, like me, is never sure if she is right or wrong. Is she loved, or just there? Tries so hard to fit in that there is NO way she can, like me.
I was the baby, Wendy was the baby for 8 years.
Raven is the night child, born at 9:13 p.m.She, therefor, was the "baby". But, she was actually like starting all over. Which, in a sense, makes her the firstborn and the baby. It shows in her life too. She is WAY more sure of herself than Wendy could EVER be, but at the same time, she exspects mom and dad to help her when needed. Which is how she was raised.
I feel so sorry for, yet admire, Heather. She almost NEVER asked for ANY kind of help. It's like she and Tim think there is NO one but each other to depend on. Which is actually GREAT. They do know IF they need us, we ARE there for them. But they don't ask!!
All I can say, and I hope each of them knows, is we ARE and WILL be there for each of them whenever, or if ever, they need us!!
I DO love my children differently, BUT I do NOT love one more than the others.
y
Heather would be my morning, born at 12:30 p.m., or close to that!! She was as more my teacher than I was hers! Heather makes you THINK she is totally in control, maybe she is. But, I know, she has a soft spot.
When Heather and Tim married they decided that THEIR family came first and foremost, which is EXACTLLY what the Bible says!!!! They put their family first, theirselves, their sons next.
I remember when their firstborn son, Austin, was born. There was a slight chance of losing one or the other, mother or child. Tim picked Heather to save. He asked me what should he do?? I said "Do you want to know what you are I would say, or what Heather would say"?
He said is there a difference? I said "oh yes"!! You will pick your wife. I, like Heather, would pick my child. Therefore you and I would pick Heather, but, like I would have if it was her or me, SHE will pick her child!!
Luckily it didn't come to that. But that leads to another story of our lives.
Wendy would be my noon child. Literally in the middle.Though she was born at 11:27 p.m. She, like me, is never sure if she is right or wrong. Is she loved, or just there? Tries so hard to fit in that there is NO way she can, like me.
I was the baby, Wendy was the baby for 8 years.
Raven is the night child, born at 9:13 p.m.She, therefor, was the "baby". But, she was actually like starting all over. Which, in a sense, makes her the firstborn and the baby. It shows in her life too. She is WAY more sure of herself than Wendy could EVER be, but at the same time, she exspects mom and dad to help her when needed. Which is how she was raised.
I feel so sorry for, yet admire, Heather. She almost NEVER asked for ANY kind of help. It's like she and Tim think there is NO one but each other to depend on. Which is actually GREAT. They do know IF they need us, we ARE there for them. But they don't ask!!
All I can say, and I hope each of them knows, is we ARE and WILL be there for each of them whenever, or if ever, they need us!!
I DO love my children differently, BUT I do NOT love one more than the others.
y
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